1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..
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2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:-Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't you try again.
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3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:-Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-Why? Would it rather have been you?
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4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-Is ! the "Paneer butter Masala" dish good??
Answer:-No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.
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5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:- Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:-Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself
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6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:- No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.
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7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not.You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron.
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8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding.... ..
Monday, January 31, 2011
Stupid Question / Answers
Friday, January 21, 2011
Procedure for Mobile number portability (MNP) in India
Mobile Number Portability (MNP) has been implemented through out India between all mobile service providers from 20th January 2011. IT enables mobile phone users to shift from one service provider to another service provider with retaining their mobile number. This is a great idea as it provides customers to choose a better service provider with out the change of mobile number.
Mobile Number Portability is available for both postpaid and prepaid users. The procedure for application of Mobile Number Portability is as follows.
1. Send an sms "PORT" <space> <mobile no:> from your phone to 1900.
2. You will get a reply with a unique code.
3. Use this code to apply for new service provider, then you will get the new network with same no:
4. A fee of Rs. 19 will be charged for Mobile Number Portability.
For more information, contact your service providers in their following tollfree no:
* Aircel - 9802098020
* Airtel -18001031111
* BSNL-18001801503
* IDEA MNP Helpline: 1800-270-0000
* MTNL Mumbai-1800221503
* TATA Docomo MNP Helpline: 1800-266-0000
* Vodafone MNP Helpline: 1800-1234567
Monday, January 17, 2011
My Business Partner Siamak Alizadeh
A few months ago I ran across a book called "Techniques for Online Marketing" by Siamak Alizadeh, After I failed several times and searched months off and on trying searching for what was next online,then I found about his website. He is one of the best I have seen.
When it comes to the nature of network marketing business or affiliate marketing then you need to find a good business partner.
A good sponsor will hold nothing back. They will be willing to share all of the secrets of their success and be honest with you about the reality of making money in the business. Far too many people get involved with sponsors who are just trying to milk them for more money by selling them back end products and do not really care if they build their business or not. They just keep them going in circles and promising them success if they just keep sticking with it and buying more useless marketing material.
He always has in place an easy way for his or her downline to duplicate what they do. In any business you must have a marketing system setup to train your affiliates or downline members and make sure that they are up to date on all the latest and effective marketing strategies for the company. Someone who just sends you a welcome letter is not a good sponsor. In addition they must provide you with access to some kind of training website or blog where you can visit to learn how to get started.
As far as I know, Siamak Alizadeh has proven to be a trustworthy resource to people who want to make money legitimately online. I really like how Siamak helps you keep going and not give up in making money online. I have been his downline of 4life business and I'm thankful to be a part of his team.he provide a complete automated marketing system for his downline to make it easy duplicate his success.
I can get many information and tutorials in making money on line. I really love to work with this guy. It was an extremely positive impact on my income after when I start doing business with him.You can follow all his ways in making money on line.
If you had a chance working with him and participate in one of his programs,you will soon realize that he only works and promotes other online business models that he has investigated and works. He doesn't just give you a bunch of fluff because he profits by promoting others.
He's really trying to do his best to help people earning money and he is on my list as an outstanding professional, one of the best internet marketers.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Height of Innocence
A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.
He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "I'm having a baby."
With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She answered, "He sure is."
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."
With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked,
"Then why did you eat him?"
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Free Classifieds with Pictures in UK
Baby's Delivery according to Corporate World
1) Project Manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month.
2) Developer is a person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby.
3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; They'll produce a child with zero resources.
7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.
And lastly...
9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
How to Spot an Indian..
* Everything you eat is savoured with garlic, onions and chillies.
* You try and re-use gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminium foil.
* You are standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the airport.
* You arrive one or two hours late to a party, and think it's normal.
* You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.
* Your toilet has a plastic bowl next to the commode.
* All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.
* You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.
* You load up the family car with as many people as possible.
* You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it's the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch .
* You live with your parents even if you are 40 years old. (And they like it that way).
* If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel it's your duty to spread the word.
* You only make long distance calls after 11pm.
* If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
* When your parents meet Indian for the first time and talk for a few minutes, you soon discover they are your relatives.
* Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs while talking.
* You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty.
* It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.
* You list your daughter as "fair and slim" in the matrimonial no matter what she looks like.
* You're alw ays interested to know/interfere in others' personal matters, what they are doing, where they are going, etc.
* You have really enjoyed reading this mail because you know some, or most of them, applies to you!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Good Corn
Each year he entered his corn in the state fair where it won honour and prizes.
One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learnt something interesting about how he grew it.
The reporter discovered that the farmer shared his seed corn with his neighbors.
"How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighbors when they are entering corn in competition with yours each year?" the reporter asked.
"Why sir," said the farmer, "didn't you know? The wind picks up pollen from the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field.
If my neighbors grow inferior, sub-standard and poor quality corn, cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn.
If I am to grow good corn, I must help my neighbours grow good corn."
The farmer gave a superb insight into the connectedness of life. His corn cannot improve unless his neighbour's corn also improves.
So it is in other dimensions! Those who choose to be at harmony must help their neighbours and colleagues to be at peace,
those who choose to live well must help others to live well, for the value of a life is measured by the lives it touches.
And those who choose to be happy must help others to find happiness for the welfare of each is bound up with the welfare of all.
If we are to grow good quality corn, we must help our neighbors grow good quality corn too....
Monday, January 10, 2011
The Pregnant Blonde
The other day my blonde neighbor came running up to me in the driveway just jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping for joy, but I thought, what the heck, and I starting jumping up and down along with her.
She said, "I have some really great news!"
I said, "Great. Tell me why you're so happy!"
She stopped jumping and, breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant!
I knew that she had been trying for a while so I told her,
"That's great! I couldn't be happier for you!"
Then she said, "There's more."
I asked, "What do you mean 'more'?"
She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!"
Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant,
I asked her how she knew?
She said.... "Well, that was the easy part.
I went to Wal-Mart and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a twin-pack.
Both tests came out positive!"