Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turned to the other and said: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains.
I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim said, "I feel j ust like a newborn baby."
"Really? Like a newborn baby?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."
Saturday, February 12, 2011
How do you feel?
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Foods that Heal
Apples
Protects your heart
prevents constipation
Blocks diarrhea
Improves lung capacity
Cushions joints
***********
Apricots
Combats cancer
Controls blood pressure
Saves your eyesight
Shields against Alzheimer's
Slows aging process
***********
Artichokes
Aids digestion
Lowers cholesterol
Protects your heart
Stabilizes blood sugar
Guards against liver disease
***********
Avocadoes
Battles diabetes
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
***********
Bananas
Protects your heart
Quiets a cough
Strengthens bones
Controls blood pressure
Blocks diarrhea
***********
Beans
Prevents constipation
Helps hemorrhoids
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Stabilizes blood sugar
***********
Beets
Controls blood pressure
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones
Protects your heart
Aids weight loss
***********
Blueberries
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Stabilizes blood sugar
Boosts memory
Prevents constipation
***********
Broccoli
Strengthens bones
Saves eyesight
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
***********
Cabbage
Combats cancer
Prevents constipation
Promotes weight loss
Protects your heart
Helps hemorrhoids
***********
Cantaloupe
Saves eyesight
Controls blood pressure
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Supports immune system
***********
Carrots
Saves eyesight
Protects your heart
Prevents constipation
Combats cancer
Promotes weight loss
***********
Cauliflower
Protects against Prostate Cancer
Combats Breast Cancer
Strengthens bones
Banishes bruises
Guards against heart disease
***********
Cherries
Protects your heart
Combats Cancer
Ends insomnia
Slows aging process
Shields against Alzheimer's
***********
Chestnuts
Promotes weight loss
Protects your heart
Lowers cholesterol
Combats Cancer
Controls blood pressure
***********
Chili Peppers
Aids digestion
Soothes sore throat
Clears sinuses
Combats Cancer
Boosts immune system
***********
Figs
Promotes weight loss
Helps stops strokes
Lowers cholesterol
Combats Cancer
Controls blood pressure
***********
Fish
Protects your heart
Boosts memory
Protects your heart
Combats Cancer
Supports immune system
***********
Flax
Aids digestion
Battles diabetes
Protects your heart
Improves mental health
Boosts immune system
***********
Garlic
Lowers cholesterol
Controls blood pressure
Combats cancer
kills bacteria
Fights fungus
***********
Grapefruit
Protects against heart attacks
Promotes Weight loss
Helps stops strokes
Combats Prostate Cancer
Lowers cholesterol
***********
Grapes
saves eyesight
Conquers kidney stones
Combats cancer
Enhances blood flow
Protects your heart
***********
Green Tea
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Helps stops strokes
Promotes Weight loss
Kills bacteria
***********
Honey
Heals wounds
Aids digestion
Guards against ulcers
Increases energy
Fights allergies
***********
Lemons
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
Stops scurvy
***********
Limes
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
Stops scurvy
***********
Mangoes
Combats cancer
Boosts memory
Regulates thyroid
aids digestion
Shields against Alzheimer's
***********
Mushrooms
Controls blood pressure
Lowers cholesterol
Kills bacteria
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones
***********
Oats
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Battles diabetes
prevents constipation
Smoothes skin
***********
Olive Oil
Protects your heart
Promotes Weight loss
Combats cancer
Battles diabetes
Smoothes skin
***********
Onions
Reduce risk of heart attack
Combats cancer
Kills bacteria
Lowers cholesterol
Fights fungus
***********
Oranges
Supports immune systems
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Strengthens respiration
***********
Peaches
prevents constipation
Combats cancer
Helps stops strokes
aids digestion
Helps hemorrhoids
***********
Peanuts
Protects against heart disease
Promotes Weight loss
Combats Prostate Cancer
Lowers cholesterol
Aggravates
diverticulitis
***********
Pineapple
Strengthens bones
Relieves colds
Aids digestion
Dissolves warts
Blocks diarrhea
***********
Prunes
Slows aging process
prevents constipation
boosts memory
Lowers cholesterol
Protects against heart disease
***********
Rice
Protects your heart
Battles diabetes
Conquers kidney stones
Combats cancer
Helps stops strokes
***********
Strawberries
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
boosts memory
Calms stress
***********
Sweet Potatoes
Saves your eyesight
Lifts mood
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones
***********
Tomatoes
Protects prostate
Combats cancer
Lowers cholesterol
Protects your heart
***********
Walnuts
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
boosts memory
Lifts mood
Protects against heart disease
***********
Water
Promotes Weight loss
Combats cancer
Conquers kidney stones
Smoothes skin
***********
Watermelon
Protects prostate
Promotes Weight loss
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
Controls blood pressure
***********
Wheat Germ
Combats Colon Cancer
prevents constipation
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
improves digestion
***********
Wheat Bran
Combats Colon Cancer
prevents constipation
Lowers cholesterol
***********
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
ICC Cricket World Cup 2011 Fixtures and schedule
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