Usefull For all: December 2010

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Some Interesting Facts

Here are some interesting, but true facts, that you may or may not have known.

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The Statue of Liberty's index finger is eight feet long

Rain has never been recorded in some parts of the Atacama Desert in Chile

A 75 year old person will have slept about 23 years.

A boeing 747's wing span is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.(the Wright brother's invented the airplane)

There are as many chickens on earth as there are humans.

One type of hummingbird weighs less than a penny

The word "set" has the most number of definitions in the English language;192

Slugs have four noses

Sharks can live up to 100 years

Mosquitos are more attracted to the color blue than any other color.

Kangaroos can't walk backwards

About 75 acres of pizza are eaten in in the U.S. everyday

The largest recorded snowflake was 15in wide and 8in thick. It fell in Montana in 1887

The tip of a bullwhip moves so fast that the sound it makes is actually a tiny sonic boom.

Former president Bill Clinton only sent 2 emails in his entire 8 year presidency

Koalas and humans are the only animals that have finger prints

There are 200,000,000 insects for every one human

It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery had in it to begin with.

The world's largest Montessori school is in India, with 26,312 students in 2002

Octopus have three hearts

If you ate too many carrots, you'd turn orange

The average person spends two weeks waiting for a traffic light to change.

1 in 2,000,000,000 people will live to be 116orold

The body has 2-3 million sweat glands

Sperm whales have the biggest brains; 20 lbs

Tiger shark embroyos fight each other in their mother's womb. The survivor is born.

Most cats are left pawed

250 people have fallen off the Leaning Tower of Pisa

A Blue whale's tongue weighs more than an elephant

You use 14 muscles to smile and 43 to frown. Keep Smiling!

Bamboo can grow up to 3 ft in 24 hours

An eyeball weighs about 1 ounce

Bone is five times stronger than steel.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Love VS Marriage

Love is holding hands in the street.

Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.

Marriage is a take home packet.

Love is cuddling on a sofa.

Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children.

Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early.

Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is a romantic drive.

Marriage is arrive on tops curvy tarmac.

Love is losing your appetite.

Marriage is losing your figure.

Love is sweet nothing in the ear.

Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

Tv has no place in love.

Marriage is a fight for remote control.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.

Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!".

Conclusion: "Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!"

Friday, December 24, 2010

99 Excuses for Skipping out of Work

Everyone needs a bit of extra time of occasionally, and all manner of outlandish excuses are given. Here is a list of 99 (mostly funny) excuses for getting out of work.

1. My kids are locked outside.

2. My kids are locked inside.

3. My kids are stuck in the door.

4. I have to pick on my kids.

5. I have to help my grandmother bake cookies.

6. I have to help my Aunt Flo in Omaha make cookies. She’s much better now and she wants to send thank-you cookies to everyone who came to see her when she thought she was dying.

7. The water company has to read my meter once a year and this was the only time they would come.

8. The gas company has to read my meter once a year and this was the only time they would come.

9. The water meter guy and the gas meter guy were both leaving cards on my door about me not being home, and they got into a fight about whose meter was better, and I have to go home and clean up.

10. My daughter is graduating from high school and I’d like to go to the ceremony.

11. My daughter is receiving a Nobel Prize and I’d like to go to the ceremony. (Do not use within one month of #9).

12. I have to pick up my car at the shop. If I don’t get there in half an hour it’ll be locked up all weekend.

13. I have to get my car to the shop. If I don’t get it there in half an hour it’ll be locked out all weekend. (Don’t use if boss seems wide awake).

14. My dog has a rash all over, and the vet closes early today.

15. My cat has a rash all over, and the vet closes early today.

16. My kid has a rash all over, and the vet closes early today.

17. My truss snapped.

18. My support hose popped.

19. I got my fingers stuck together with Krazy Glue.

20. I’m arranging financing for a house.

21. I’m arranging financing for a car.

22. I’m arranging financing for a beef roast.

23. The couch I ordered umpteen weeks ago has arrived and this was the only time they could deliver it.

24. The refrigerator I ordered umpteen weeks ago has arrived and this was the only time they could deliver it.

25. The baby we arranged for nine months ago is arriving, and I think this is the time it’s being delivered. (Note: This is an excuse that can’t be used by just anybody. But if it’s close to accurate, it’s extremely effective.

26. I have been asked to serve on a presidential advisory panel.

27. I’m being sent to the moon by NASA.

28. It’s Dayton’s Warehouse Sale.

29. My back aches.

30. My stomach aches.

31. My hair aches. (This is more acceptable than “I have a hangover,” especially if offered in the early afternoon.)

32. My biological clock is ticking.

33. I have to take my biological clock in for service.

34. My furnace won’t stop running, and the goldfish are getting poached.

35. My central air conditioning won’t stop running, and the goldfish are getting freezer burn.

36. Both my furnace and my central air conditioning won’t stop running. The goldfish are fine but my basement is about to explode.

37. I have to go to the airport to pick up my mother.

38. I have to go to the airport to pick up my minister.

39. I have to go to the airport to pick up my minister’s mother.

40. I have to take my mother to the doctor.

41. I have to take my minister to the doctor.

42. I have to take my doctor to my minister.

43. I think I left the iron on.

44. I think I left the water on.

45. I think I left the refrigerator on.

46. I’m getting married, and I have to go pick out rings.

47. I’m getting married, and I have to take a blood test.

48. I’m getting married, and I have to figure out to whom.

49. I have to have my waistband let out.

50. I have to have my watchband let out.

51. I have to have my son’s rock band let out.

52. I’m having my eyes checked this noon, and they put drops in them so I won’t be able to work afterwards.

53. I’m having my ears checked this noon, and they put drops in them so I won’t be able to work afterwards.

54. I’m having my hats checked this noon, and I’ll be having a drop or two so I won’t be able to work afterwards.

55. I’m having a root canal.

56. I’m having a tax audit.

57. I’m going on a date with a sadomasochistic necrophile. (Is that beating a dead horse?)

58. My broker needs to talk with me about diversification.

59. I have to rearrange my savings so that there is no more than $100,000 in any one federally insured institution.

60. I need to break into my kid’s piggy bank while he’s not home.

61. I have to renew my driver’s license.

62. I have to get new license plates.

63. I have to stand in a long line for no good reason, while petty bureaucrats take inordinate amounts of time to work out the tiny problems that they detect in perfectly routine transactions. THEN I have to breeze by and renew my driver’s license and get new license plates.

64. I’ve got an urgent session with my therapist.

65. I’ve got a really urgent session with my therapist.

66. I’ve … I … I’m not … I don’t … I CAN’T COPE WITH THIS!!

67. I have to get my contact lenses fitted.

68. I have to get my hearing aid adjusted.

69. I have to get my big toe calibrated.

70. Hey, hey! The Monkees could be coming to our town.

71. My rheumatism is acting up. There’s going to be a terrible tornado.

72. My arthritis is acting up. There’s going to be a terrible blizzard.

73. The pharaoh is acting up. There’s going to be a terrible rain of frogs.

74. I need to give blood.

75. I need to give evidence.

76. I need to give up.

77. I’m going to my best friend’s engagement party.

78. I’m going to my best friend’s wedding.

79. I’m going to my best friend’s divorce. (We all knew it wouldn’t last. At the wedding, everybody threw Minute Rice.)

80. I have a seriously overdue library book that I have to return.

81. I have a bunch of old parking tickets, and if I don’t pay them I’m going to be arrested.

82. The police are at the back door. Cover me.

83. I’m having my nails done.

84. I’m having my colors done.

85. I’m having my head examined.

86. I’m going to the bank.

87. I’m going to sleep.

88. I’m going over the edge.

89. A friend of mine is dying and I have to go to the hospital.

90. A friend of mine has died and I have to go to the funeral parlor.

91. A friend of mine is being reincarnated and I have to go to the zoo.

92. I need to check out the hole in the ozone layer.

93. I need to check into a rest home.

94. I’m breaking in my shoes.

95. I’m breaking up with my boyfriend.

96. I’m breaking out.

97. I have to pick up my dry cleaning.

98. I have to pick out a car.

99. Salmon Rushdie is coming in to talk about his idea for a book on Christian fundamentalists. I thought I’d go to a ball game instead.

Source : Here

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Newton's laws of LOVE

First law:

A boy in love with a girl continues to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy continues to be in love with him, until and unless any external agent(brother or father of the girl) comes into play and breaks the legs of the boy.

Second law:

The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to his bank balance.

Third law:

The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals.

Universal law:

Love can neither be created nor be destroyed, it can only be transfered from one girlfriend to another girlfriend.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Send Unique Christmas E-Cards

Selecting a Christmas E-Card for the people on your list can sometimes present a challenge to find that just right one. While it can be convenient to choose electronic cards over traditional paper and stamp kind, it is important to find one that conveys your own message in a special way.

Christmas is a time to share well wishes and it is nice to know you can spread the joy to everyone with a few clicks of a button. Discovering an E-card site that gives you fabulous cards that will make your friends go "wow" is like finding a goldmine, when you really care what e-cards you send. Whether it is Christmas, birthday or other occasions the beautiful ecards at Ojolie eCards are simply the most original around.

Artistic e-card creations make these one-of-a-kind messages really special, with amazing designs and animations, and you will know you found just the right card. There is a growing selection of these hand crafted designs, and it is an easy way to send out those Christmas e-cards to everyone on your list this year. Birthdays, anniversary and all other type of e-cards are just as special in the Ojolie collection as well.

Regardless of whether you want to send a Christmas E-card that is humorous, spiritual or just a simple holiday message you will find one that suits. Adding a personal note to each E-card you send is a breeze, so your recipient knows it was hand selected. There won't be any doubt that you brightened some one's day when you choose a Christmas E-card from Ojolie.com.

Men are better friends

Women:Women:

Women:

A wife was not at home for a whole night. So, the next morning, she tells her husband that she stayed at her girlfriend’s apartment overnight.

The husband calls 10 of her best girlfriends and none of them confirm that.

Men:

A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the next morning, that he stayed at his friend’s apartment overnight.

So the wife calls 10 of his best friends: 5 of them confirmed that he stayed at their apartments that night, and the other 5 are claiming that he still is there with them!

Conclusion : Men are better friends

A wife was not at home for a whole night. So, the next morning, she tells her husband that she stayed at her girlfriend’s apartment overnight.

The husband calls 10 of her best girlfriends and none of them confirm that.

Men:

A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the next morning, that he stayed at his friend’s apartment overnight.

So the wife calls 10 of his best friends: 5 of them confirmed that he stayed at their apartments that night, and the other 5 are claiming that he still is there with them!

Conclusion : Men are better friends

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Gibson Les Paul GT

No, that guitar’s not on fire. It’s a Gibson Les Paul GT -- and it’s supposed to look that way.

Before you notice anything else about the Les Paul GT, you’ll notice that flames. Those are transparent flames painted right on the body. Really. They’re hard to miss. Gibson were sort of going for a hot rod kind of thing. Lots of people think it didn’t work.

Whether you think it’s cool or rad or cheesy or creepy, the flames are about the only thing that makes this model look different from most other modern Les Paul, at least at first glance.

Introduced in 2006 and no longer in production, the GT is a Les Paul Standard with a few bits and pieces added in.

If you can get past the design, you’ll find a great electric guitar with everything you expect from a Gibson Les Paul.

The pickups, for example, are just you imagine they would be. The always-well-regarded 498T Alnice humbucker at the bridge is joined with its usual friend, the 490 humbucker, on the neck. A standard three-way switch is at the body’s top, and there are independent tone and volume controls for the two pickups -- making four knobs total.

Also as you expect from a Les Paul, it’s heavy. The neck is mahogany and is a regular 22-fret version with a 1950s look and feel. It has a mahogany body, a maple top, an ebony fretboard, some trapezoid inlays and a few other cosmetic features that don’t really do much to separate it from a Standard.

A dual truss rod setup makes the neck particularly stable, allowing this Les Paul to stand up to some stress.

But you don’t like those flames, do you?

You either like them or you hate them, and if you hate them, this isn’t the guitar for you -- unless, of course, you’re lucky enough to locate one of the 400 special ones -- Customs with fire engine red paint.

That’s right. Fire engine red. Not much better than the flames? Sorry.

But come on, people. It’s a Les Paul. And Gibson has to do something to get people to keep buying their electric guitars since just about every serious player in the world already has a couple of them. You can’t really blame them for trying out a flame design, can you?

Maybe you can, but you could still do a lot worse than the uniquely designed and somewhat upgraded guitar known as the Gibson Les Paul GT.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Woman (Ladies do not mind, please)

A simple thought to stop and think about.....

BELIEF - 1 :

SHE’LL NEVER BE SATISFIED

TRUTH :

Woman are always looking for ways to makes things better. Don't take her suggestions as Complaints or Criticisms, but as her desire to make the Relationship or Situation the best that it can be.

BELIEF - 2 :

A STRONG, CONFIDENT WOMAN DOESNT NEED A MAN TO TAKE CARE OF HER

TRUTH :

Everyone Loves To Be Taken Care Of and To Feel Needed. Even if a Woman can fix things around the house or change the oil in her car, She will still ask for help so she can feel Your Strength, Support and Protection. Don't Ever Stop Asking, What Can I Do For You ? because it shows her that you care

BELIEF - 3 :

WOMAN ONLY WANT TO CONTROL MEN

TRUTH :

Its Not About Control ; Its About Love. When a Woman sees a Man Hurting , Struggling or Overwhelmed, Her Goal is to Help, Not Control. Let Her give You a Helping Hand.

BELIEF - 4 :

KEEPING A WOMAN REQUIRES A LOT OF HARD WORK, TIME AND MONEY

TRUTH :

A Serious Relationship Requires Time and Effort to Cultivate It. You should not Look at it as a Burden. Your Wife or Girlfriend will reciprocate the effort you put into it.

BELIEF - 5 :

YOU CANT LIE TO WOMAN

TRUTH :

Woman Are Extremely Capable of Picking up Moods and Attitudes and can easily read Body Language and Facial Expressions. Although You may think that You have gotten away with a Great Lie, She is either letting it slide because She wants to keep the Peace, or She is Lying to Herself because Shes Afraid of the Truth.

BELIEF - 6 :

JEALOUSY AND POSSESSIVENESS ARE A PART OF BEING A WOMAN

TRUTH:

Woman are Protective of What Belongs to them. They Protect the things they Value, especially when it comes to Relationships. Its not that she doesn't Trust You ; She is Guarding the Relationship. You are too Precious to Her for Her to allow anything bad to happen.

BELIEF - 7 :

WOMAN ARE EMOTIONAL

TRUTH :

Woman Don't Hide their Feelings. They articulate whats going on in their Minds. There is nothing wrong with emotions.. We All Have Them. Being in Touch with their emotions causes women to be Sensitive and Caring, and that's why Men Love Them..